Where am I??

Singleness is freedom.  I can come and go as I choose, stay out as late as I want, travel as often as I want, eat dinner when I want, spend as much money as I want and never feel the obligation to tell someone where I am at all times.  Two days ago, I told my best friend, who is the mother of a 20 month old and 5 months pregnant with her second that I was planning a 30^th birthday party in Las Vegas.  Since she will be 8 months pregnant and unable to attend, she immediately turned to her son and told him to hurry up and grow up already.  I am currently in my second year of Business School incurring more debt by the hour but you know what?  I am loving nearly every moment of it.  In the last two years, I have been on four continents and have two trips left to take before I graduate.  I have friends from all over the world and in August, will start a job that I am incredibly excited about.  Not bad for a sad sap single woman! 

 

Sadly, my embrace of all things single is not an opinion shared by many these days when there is an entire industry built around how to find a man, how to attract a man, how to date a man, how to get him to propose, etc, etc.  Recently, a friend forwarded me an article that has been circulating among groups of professional women in NYC and has recently found its way onto my Business School campus urging 30-something professional women who happen to still find themselves single to settle.  Are you joking?

 

Don’t get me wrong.  My parents have been married for almost 38 years and I fully believe in the institution of marriage.  I further believe that I, approaching the eve of my 30^th birthday, will get married and desire to do so.  I also believe that I am a good, no scratch that, great catch.  I’m attractive, smart, funny, educated, am knowledgeable about sports, and can cook.  Additionally, I know that there is someone out there for me, and when the time is right, I will meet that person.  What I do not believe is two things, first, that I need to spend any of my time worrying about when and how I’ll meet that person.  Second, I do not believe that I need to be at all concerned that I haven’t found him at this age.  If I was a man, I would be congratulated for all I’ve accomplished thus far in my life and told not to worry about settling down any time soon.  But, because I happen to be woman, people look at me with pity in their eyes when they note my absence of a wedding band or significant other.  Whatever.  Good thing I have the self-esteem not to buy into that.

 

So where am I?  Well, clearly single.  But, I am open to the right relationship.  I spent my 20’s bouncing from relationship to relationship with a number of what I call “pseudo-relationships” in between (more about those later).  About a year ago, I got myself entangled in what I’ll call a situation…I don’t even think this person deserves the title of “pseudo-relationship.”  After I woke up one day and told him not to call me again, I decided I was done not valuing myself and what I bring to a relationship and settling for less than I was worth.  So, for the last year, it’s been a few dates here and there but nothing serious.  My focus has been on finishing up my last year of school and thinking clearly think about what I want and pursue that rather than settling for whatever is offered to me.  I’m looking for a real, meaningful, and lasting relationship.  I can’t play the games that come with dating anymore.  In the meantime, I’m living my life and not worrying about the when and the how.  So stay tuned…I usually have great stories.  Especially since I tend to attract men that don’t know how to stay gone… 

 

~Happy CHICK